


everybody wants to love you

by butchrenaryuugu



Category: Higurashi no Naku Koro ni | Higurashi When They Cry
Genre: Diary/Journal, F/F, Fluff and Angst, One-Sided Attraction, POV Alternating, POV Female Character, POV Multiple, Possibly Unrequited Love, Post-Canon, Sleepovers, Unrequited Love, theyre both butch, tsumihoroboshi-hen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2019-12-30 16:28:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18319019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butchrenaryuugu/pseuds/butchrenaryuugu
Summary: rena is in love with her best friend, mion. she writes about it in her journal to help her organize her thoughts. a big chunk is told through rena's journal. takes place in post-canon tsumihoroboshi in an au where keiichi leaves hinamizawa and the great hinamizawa disaster didn't happen.





	everybody wants to love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rena is stressed over her feelings for mion.

Monday, August 15, 1983: 2:48PM

I've been thinking a lot about it and... I think I really like Mion. More than a friend. But how could I not? She's lovely and pretty and a really great friend... honestly I can't see anything wrong with her. I want to hold her and play with her hair. I want to spend a lot of time with her. We could go have picnics at the shrine, just the two of us. I could pick flowers for her and make them into a crown. Just thinking about it, I don't know what to feel. I'm scared of what could happen if I tell her and she turns out not to like girls, or worse! She could hate me for it. She could even go tell someone, and then someday the whole town would know. I don't want to have to leave this town. Right now, I just wish I could get rid of my feelings. It makes me so happy to be around her, but that might change. When it slips out that I love her, I don't know. It won't be good. I'm so, so scared. And there's nobody I could tell. I don't want anyone to know that I like girls! I hope I act girly enough so that they can't tell. It makes me feel so bad that I can't do anything about how I feel about Mion. For now, I'm going to go out for a walk to clear my mind. Maybe all the bad stuff will go away if I just wait.

Monday, August 15, 1983: 9:53PM

It didn't help. Of course it didn't help. I feel sick and I probably won't be able to sleep by now. I want it to go away. I want to curl up and just sleep ~~forever~~ for a long time. My chest hurts and I just don't want to be alone anymore. I don't know why I feel like Mion can't accept me. If she can literally help me hide a body, why do I feel so awful about her? I can't compare liking a girl to murder, but I'm pretty sure one is worse than the other. But why? Why can't I stop thinking about her? And why can't I feel like she will accept me? I should just try to sleep. I don't feel right. Maybe it will be better in the morning. I should give it time but it's already felt like so long. 

 

* * *

 

Rena slept deeply that night. Maybe she was exhausted from the stress, or maybe it was just from her walk. Either way, thanks to some miracle that crossed her dreams, the pain eased when she woke up. She was still sad, but at least her chest hurt less and the fear of being outed to her small town faded away. When her sea-blue eyes opened in the morning, she noticed the sun shining through the window above her mattress. The brightness made her tired eyes hurt. Squinting, she sat up leaning against the wall, still wrapped up in her light blanket. The sunlight warmed the small girl's tanned skin, and she closed her eyes in comfort. Rena stayed like that for a minute, for once getting to enjoy the peace. After opening her eyes, she glanced around her room, taking in a few unusual things -- a tea mug, her journal, and a pen. _That's right,_ she wondered. _I did write a little last night. But the tea?_ She examined the tea closer, noticing that it was still steaming. Then, she saw a note next to the cup: "You seemed sad yesterday. I hope you feel better soon. --Dad." She read the note aloud and smiled a little bit. _How sweet._ Rena took a little sip of the tea to test the temperature, finding it almost too hot. She took another sip anyways, tasting lemon and lavender. When she was halfway finished her tea, she took a look at her alarm clock. "8:41? Not too bad," she spoke to herself. Reaching the bottom of the cup, she got up to greet her dad and get ready for the day.

"Good morning, Rena."

"A-ah, good morning, Dad. Thank you for the tea."

Rena's father smiled. "No problem."

Rena started preparing her breakfast -- an omelette with sausages. Cooking always cheered her up. She started when she moved back to Hinamizawa, when her parents first separated. It started as an obligation, since her dad was sometimes too busy, but it turned into her first healthy coping mechanism. At least, it was healthy when she wasn't eating two plates' worth of desserts. As she finished making her meal, she expertly flipped the omelette onto a plate, then rolled the sausages out of the pan and onto the dish. She ate quickly, threw on her uniform, and dashed out the door.

 

* * *

 

The day went by quickly. Perhaps the longest part of Rena's day was the morning -- she woke up slowly, made breakfast, and walked to school with Mion -- it always felt like time lasted forever when Mion was around, but it was never enough. Rena wanted to spend days with her. _Maybe I can ask her to stay over for a couple of nights,_  she thought to herself. She thought about it again and decided that she would be too scared. _What if she found my journal? Maybe I should keep it locked._ She tried her best to forget about the idea of a sleepover. 

That afternoon, Mion walked Rena home. The copper-haired girl found herself thinking about having a sleepover with her friend, and could barely contain the thoughts in her head. When the two girls were nearing her house, the words slipped right out of Rena's mouth.

"Hey, M-Mion?"

"Yeah?" Mion smiled and giggled quietly.

"Do you ever... um.." Rena struggled to put a sentence together as Mion waited patiently. "Do you want to have a sleepover sometime? I t-think it would be fun."

"Sounds great!" Mion laughed as if relieved.

"Really?" Rena was shocked, still wondering if she heard Mion correctly.

"Of course! My place or yours? Bacchan might kick my ass if we get up to any trouble at my place, but I'm sure we'll be fine." She snickered.

"U-um, I don't know! Can we talk about it another time? I'm sorry!" Rena sounded frantic.

"Yep. Ah, we're at your house now, so, uh, see ya tomorrow!"

"See you tomorrow, Mii-chan." Rena walked off to her house, embarrassed beyond words. She couldn't tell if she was excited or nervous.

 

* * *

 

Tuesday, August 16th, 1983: 4:49PM

So... I might actually go through with that sleepover with Mion. I'm kind of scared. But I also really, really want to go. I feel awful about this but, it would be so lovely if we slept in the same bed! But I won't do it if she doesn't bring it up first. She might catch on if I mention it instead. I feel weird about it. I think I should be worried but, I'm not. I feel peaceful. There must be something wrong with me if I actually feel okay about liking her this much. I wish one of my friends liked girls too, so I could talk to someone! I guess I'll never know. Maybe Mion likes girls. She's never talked about having a crush on a boy, or having a boyfriend. And she's fine with me snuggling with her. Oh dang. I hope she likes girls. 


End file.
